our bones, underfoot
by Aiko Isari
Summary: It makes it all so much worse, the knowing, the caring, the recognition, and the acknowledgment. Because he can't really save her partner no matter where and when but he can save her and he's going to try.
1. 1

_Warnings: past character death, reincarnation, trauma._

* * *

0.

Juri smiles, gaptoothed and cute and shows him what a plotmon is on a card, and he's not looking at the card at all. He's looking at red hair and seeing the same pair of eyes and trying not to cry.

He's looking at bandaged palms that curl around the handlebars of a bike as they go down their favorite hill together screaming and sneaking antiseptic out of boxes.

He's looking her eyes rimmed red as she sobs hard and hefty against him.

He's looking at her and seeing Maki and Takato is trying not to cry because Daigo had missed her, his _best friend_ , so so much but this wasn't the world he wanted to see her in again.

* * *

 ** _A/N:_** Because I can, darn it.

Challenges: Interseason Mini-Fic Masterclass 2, mega prompts word prompt 1


	2. 2

2.

Matsuki Takato is as normal as Nishijima Daigo ever was, normal with a side of special choices to make eventually in his life but that's not the same.

Juri, in contrast to Hime-chan, actually is normal, is as normal as normal can be, with a dead mother and a living stepmother and a little brother and so many complicated things in her life. She smiles the same free way she used to do.

All that's different is the puppet. She holds it close all the time. Her voices are good, but it's…

Something isn't right. Maybe he's wrong again, he was before.


	3. 3

3.

Matsuda Takato finds comfort in drawing. Daigo never did, never saw much point in the hard work to make things just look right and know and know and know the end result did not have to be good or great, just your own.

Here, perhaps, he doesn't know it either. But he knows that it doesn't matter because he likes it. He loves it.

Hime – Katou-san- loves puppetry. Loves sewing and waiting tables and dancing. These things make up Katou-san but not his Hime-chan.

He's sure it's her, sure as he is that he was once Nishijima Daigo and he blew up with blood everywhere and suffering to boot.

But what if he is completely wrong? It wouldn't be the first time.


	4. 4

4.

"Whatcha doing Takato-kun?"

He jumps (so high, too high, he didn't mean to but she was so good at surprising everyone, especially him) and she giggles at him, so high and unashamed. "Hie- Katou-san! Please don't do that!" He whines and he means it because it covers that awful, awful slip up and he was in his mid-twenties when he died and that doesn't matter at all.

She beams at him, puppet in hand. "Takato-kun has to be more observant," it says. Takato makes an extreme effort to nod at the puppet rather than Juri.

"You're right," he says because she is, and it's almost like a warning from the before times, which is impossible. At least he hopes it is.

"I'm drawing a digimon," he says because until now, she hasn't laughed.

This time she does but it's not unkind. "It looks like a dragon."

"It is!" He puffs out his chest and smiles too wide.

And she listens and she's not a bully and she's great and he is so screwed so maybe he is actually twenty on the inside.


	5. 5

5.

Hirokazu and Kenta are so ordinary that he feels bad for them.

Very bad and very jealous because to them this is still a game. This is still fun. There is nothing to lose here, nothing bad.

But Daigo knows. He knows they're real. He feels it every time he plays a card, that terrible rush of energy beneath his fingers, the roars of pain that don't mean anything.

The monsters are real and people love to hurt them.


	6. 6

6.

Juri believes him, a little.

"Well, if they weren't real, how would we know about them?"

She asks him this like it's obvious and again, again, _again_ , there is his Hime-chan, so naturally at ease with the unnatural. He was always jealous of that before but now, now he needs it.

"Doesn't that..." he paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Doesn't that make the game bad? If it's real and we're playing… are we hurting them?"

She's silent a while. Then she says, "Of course." There's a small pause, so small, it's almost unnoticeable. Then she adds. "Digimon like fighting some of the time. We could be helping them."

The other part of Hime-chan's acceptance was… she even accepted the bad parts as a good thing.

He had forgotten that.

Maybe this could change with Katou-san.


	7. 7

7.

Takato, childish, kind, Takato, is terrible at math.

He's too impatient to let the numbers fit themselves together and so he tries to force them, or leaves them off to themselves. He doesn't have time for them. He has time for other things, like drawing and baking and such. He is better with his hands and his heart and his earnest effort made.

Of course, because of this, Juri is wonderful with numbers and helps Kenta tutor him and his friends whenever they ask.

Usually.

Except this day, where she runs out of school and doesn't look back. She nearly collides with the school gate.

Takato's eyes narrow. Something is wrong.

It's time to snoop.


	8. 8

8.

Nishijima's thought is that the problem is a man (which is stupid because they're boys and girls and other things and none of that matters) and the sad fact is that he's not too far off. It's a woman and an infant and they're sitting at the restaurant and looking at Kato-san's father. The woman, mother, is. Then she looks back at Kato-san, whose face is tight and sharp and old.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?"

Kato-san nods, quick, sharp, narrow. The child in the woman's lap lunges for her with small hands. Juri flinches.

The child lets out a wail as the food arrives, courtesy of not a waiter, but Kato-san's father. There's a line of disappointment in his face as he sits beside them.

Takato leaves, and quickly. He can do his homework on his own.

Tomorrow she's as smiley and bright as ever in class, but Takato knows. But Daigo can't speak.

He can't ruin this too.


	9. 9

9.

Hirokazu beating him sucks. Like there are no words for how much it sucks. And Takato's head works with it, around it.

It doesn't help they let him be late by himself and stand in the hallway alone.

Next time he'll just leave them behind. Everyone else did it to him. Hmph!

… Why does everyone leave him behind?

"Boo!"

"I'm doing my assignment" he shouts, bolting up in his chair.

Kato-san giggles outright and it warms all of him like a summer breeze.

At least she had come back for him.


	10. 10

10.

It's real.

His partner is real.

Daigo is terrified. Takato is ecstatic, then terrified.

What is he going to do? Could he… could he make Bakumon? Could he make Hime's Bakumon? Could he, could he make her happy? Should he was the greater question?

What was he going to do with this giant dragon? Digimon eat more than a whole family of humans if you let them.

Calm down, don't panic. Breathe, breathe, and definitely hide this from Hime-chan. Definitely.

Still, his heart is beating with an excitable thrill. He was real. Nishijima Daigo was real, and not a dream and that meant it all happened. The good and bad had all happened.

He was sane.


	11. 11

11.

Taking care of Guilmon was hard.

He wasn't as smart as Bearmon, wasn't as well learned. And effectively, until Jenrya appeared, he'd been useless. They'd been running around to survive, not… educate. He isn't a teacher.

Neither is Jen, but he helps. He helps more than the girl in his dream (who is creepy, she is so, so so creepy. But cool too. She isn't Hime-chan but she has the vibe.) He's kind and understanding and patient. There is a reason that Daigo did not consider becoming a father. Ever.

Guilmon loves him all the same, shamelessly without remorse or responsibility. It's not right, Takato knows, but he buries himself in it all the same.


	12. 12

12.

He's changed his mind. He doesn't like Makino Ruki.

Makino Ruki is a bully who has her digimon eat other digimon and calls it power. Even when they fought Digimon, they didn't eat them except to live. For power alone was stupid.

And it didn't help. It didn't actually make a digimon stronger. But he didn't remember why. And even if he did, how could they tell anyone? They'd think he was crazy.

And how could Guilmon stop her without destroying everything?

But then it didn't seem Guilmon cared did he?

"Stop!" It wasn't his own voice. It was Kato-san's voice, cleaer and concerned and alive and going closer. She is still yelling at them, still crying out for the claws and fangs and fire and ice to just _stop_ -

But they don't and they're-

Too.

Late.

Kato-san screams.

Maki screams.

Takato?

Takato snaps.


	13. 13

13.

By the time Takato can see straight his face is bruised and he's managed to pin Ruki to the ground with an arm. Juri has a hold of the other and is yanking so hard he thinks it's going to pop out of the socket. It hurts and it wakes him up.

The horror sets in. He runs, runs runs to Guilmon. Guilmon is bleeding but fine. He's just angry, so angry that he's shaking. Only Takato's trembling fingers -because this is a monster, an animal, a thing ready to kill and hurt at any time- stop Guilmon from lunging towards the bloody stained fur that was Renamon.

"Back, Renamon!"

And there was Jenrya in the way with Terriermon and Renamon and Ruki retreating and this is his fault this is all his fault he's never been that angry before.

He never wants to be again.

(Fool.)


	14. 14

14.

Guilmon doesn't need bandages. He needs food more than bandages but there's only so much Takato can sneak him and only so much Daigo wants to do. His thin, young limbs feel heavier than he leaves his partner sleeping and lays on him.

He doesn't remember how he got to their hideaway. He doesn't remember much of anything. But he knows in his gut that he made mistakes.

But how does he fix them? How does he prevent Himekawa – Kato-san from going down that same road, if he is so angry he forgets that she's there?

Does he need to get stronger?

What a silly question, of course he does, he wouldn't be here if he didn't.

Takato nods to himself. He doesn't see Jen and Terriermon. He doesn't see Juri looking at him with soft eyes.

Knowing eyes.

Grown-up eyes.


	15. 15

15.

Guilmon evolves.

Growmon is big.

Looking back, Takato supposes that's in the name. Daigo curses himself for his lack of imagination in this point.

But his partner is big and scared and Takato has no idea how to fix either of these things.

He's unable to fix either of these things before the whole thing resolves itself. But it lingers, it holds tight to his heart. The familiar feeling of not being enough is so sickeningly unclear.

But life goes on. Life goes on.

Until it doesn't. Until Guilmon gets stronger and Ruki becomes their friend and-

Kato-san gets a Leomon.

A kind and honorable digimon.

Takato makes it home before Daigo flies apart in bed, screaming and sobbing and howling.

Life goes on. And some things refuse to change.

Some things cannot be prevented.


	16. 16

16.

Leomon is kind and patient and nurturing. Leomon is everything Daigo, at one point, had considered being.

Except furry. Daigo has never considered being furry.

He carries Kato-san delicately, warily, even though he knows she's not glass. She looks happy. She looks content.

The world will end soon enough of course because that's what happens, they get happy and it all. Gets. Ruined.

They take Culumon. He's an innocent little fluffball. he's a good creature who just wants to have fun and ends up getting into more trouble than he deserves.

Takato wants to get him back. He has to. He has to stop all of this senseless violence before it only gets worse. He can do that. He knows better now.

(No he doesn't.)


	17. 17

17.

Evolving is much harder than it was before. Before emotion was enough, feeling, desiring was enough. Now it takes cards and willpower and solid, focused intent.

It's so annoying!

On the upside, with Kato-san around, Ruki is much less likely to eat their heads off. Heck, she's downright friendly nowadays almost, correcting their decks and insulting Hirokazu less.

Not stopping altogether but less. Kato-san can't be a miracle worker.

Everything feels good, feels better. It all feels conquerable.

Then, then then then- something reaches for their peaceful life.

Someone kidnaps Takato's parents.


	18. 18

18.

Takato doesn't remember what he told police. He doesn't remember what he told anyone, if he's honest. He just remembers the blurs of police being there, the murmurs of his friends, the sound of Guilmon being involved somewhere, being shuffled somewhere, and somewhere, someone, laughing.

Laughing at him.

It makes him think of a dancing clown, a marionette high in the air.

"Eat."

Takato jumps. Kato-san has placed a bowl at his side. "We can't find them with empty stomachs."

Her voice is firm. It's clear and calm and everything Hime-chan had been. And absolutely certain.

The puppet's gone.

Daigo can't stop it. Takato starts to cry.

Ruki wouldn't let him. Kato-san does. And he, for a moment, can't tell who's who.


	19. 19

19.

Takato has to go about his life as normal. There has been no call declaring ransom. There has been a police report, but nothing else. His family in Okinawa can't take him he's stuck going from home to school and back again under guard, family friends bringing food and ordering take out of a dwindling account.

He can't go see Guilmon, but Kato-san visits every day and tells him the digimon is okay, just scared, just needing him and they'll find a way to make that happen.

Bitterly, he thinks that that mindset was the problem from the beginning. But then, the adults had never been able to help before. Only his death as an adult had helped, his sacrifice as a stepping stone. What could they do now?

Well aside from make a giant hole in the sky- wait.

Takato doesn't wait for the police to notice. He is gone and he's not looking back.


	20. 20

20.

 _We are the conquerors._

The words thunder in his ears, pounding at his feet. He's running, running, breathing loud in his own ears as the park gets closer and closer, the real world further and further away.

 _We are the predators now. You who created us, you who have forsaken us. You, you, you-_

 _Humans you will pay for everything._

Takato doesn't understand. Some part of Daigo understands too well. This tragedy will not repeat itself. This painful future will not repeat itself.

He will dig and dig into every enemy until he makes it so.

And he will give Matsuki Takato his normal life back, no matter what.


	21. 21

21.

Deva.

Daigo doesn't remember the devas very well. They were in the background. Soldiers, friends, healers, smaller digimon. They'd probably been Digimon with big dreams and merry adventures.

But here they were just monsters who wanted to kill all of the humans. And sometimes Daigo couldn't blame them.

But they had taken Takato's parents. They had dragged Kato-san into more sadness and violence. And they were the reason that the Digimon were suffering right now.

 _It was humans too and Daigo knew that, but really, yes really, he was stuck with more tunnel vision than he wanted to admit._

 _Besides a Digimon was still killing Guilmon._

He wished for power, begged for it. But all he got was tears instead, tears and Guilmon's pain in his shoulder.


	22. 22

22.

He opens his eyes in a place swathed in red. Red and gray and all sorts of shades… and Guilmon.

A half-eaten Guilmon, staring at him with one golden eye. Staring at his back, mournful. "Tamer," he breathes, chokes out really. "Help me, Tamer..."

And behind him, further still was,

"Bearmon."

Daigo looks down and sees human hands, blood splayed on his stomach. A taller body, longer limbs.

"Help me, Tamer," Guilmon repeats, voice broken. "I can't do this alone."

He knows. He knows better than anyone. But Bearmon is right there. Or is he? Is any of this real?

The pain must be real. It must.

Slowly, he walks towards Guilmon. His legs are small again. His heart throbs with his shoulder. But before he can raise his hands, he hears as though underwater-

"Card Slash! Matrix Evolution!"

And it's not him who is saying it.


	23. 23

23.

Takato, Jenrya and Ruki are Tamers. There is no doubt about that in his mind. And yet they aren't the ones up on that roof now.

Leomon is on that roof. And Kato-san is in front of them. Her D-Arc burns through the foc, gleaming in the light.

"GrapLeomon!" she calls and her voice is clear and steady and full of something that makes Takato's stomach throb. "Throw him over!"

Her partner's response is a resounding thud.

The tiger laughs. "Fools. You who side with humans. You who support the accursed. You will burn."

The tiger laughs until he dies.

And Takato's hands fall uselessly to his sides, even as Guilmon crawls towards him, sniffling in pain.


	24. 24

24.

The battle is brutal but quick. Metal tail smacks into face, claws rip into fur, nothing, nothing different from any other battle. Takato only knows what's going on because Kato-san is trembling and bleeding in front of him, like she might die if they don't win (which is possible because they could all die if she doesn't win).

Guilmon nuzzles his foot, dripping blood on his shoe and it hurts by gods it hurts so much why is he weak? Why isn't he doing anything? What if Kato-san, what if Hime-chan what if they have to lose something again?

Jenrya and Ruki's shoulders are strong, steady, but heavy too.

"Come on." Ruki's voice is syrup thick with the sly grin on her face. "Come on, we can't let her have all the fun."

"This isn't fun," Jen says and Ruki laughs.

Takato laughs too and it hurts but she's right. Nothing else matters except they help Kato-san. Nothing else.


	25. 25

25.

His parents are probably dead.

The thought chills him, but not as much as it ought to. But that may be because Nishijima Daigo died before ever explaining things to his parents so this might be the karma he deserves. Still, Takato doesn't deserve that.

Kato-san limps to greet him every day. His eyes always travel to her bandages and then up to her smile. Her puppet flops out of her bag.

"It's okay, Takato-kun," she says. "I'll take care of them. You gotta find your mom and dad. Losing one is bad enough, we won't let you lose both!"

Takato nods and smiles, weakly, puffy-eyed.

It's going to get worse, Daigo thinks.

It does. It gets much worse.

She stops coming to school.


	26. 26

26.

Takato, frankly, has had absolutely enough.

He tells the police, he tells his teacher, he tells anyone, and no one really listens so honestly he really just can't count on them after all so what can he do?

Takato takes to barely doing his homework. He takes to wandering the streets with Guilmon. People have stopped screaming in terror or going to cell phones at the sight of him, or maybe they're too scared to do any of it now. There are still monsters attacking him and being stopped, only he's doing none of it.

Some tamer, Takato thinks, and Daigo, the memories of being old and tired, don't contradict him. It's not the most helpful thing in the world but he doesn't think he can help.

Sometimes Ruki joins him. She always looks battered, her ponytail a mess of almost curls. Jenrya tries to but eventually Guilmon and Terriermon dissolve everything and make their children play.

Takato supposes he should be mad, or hurt, or screaming but the more time passes the more exhausted he becomes.

But then, for a second time in his life, a great giant hole opens up in the sky and something breaks through it, falling like a rock sinking through the water.

It lands by his home.

And something inside of Takato shatters with the weight of his duty.

That's his home. His parents have to come back to it.


	27. 27

27.

The blue card is back in his hands.

He doesn't know how it got there, mind. Maybe someone put it there. Maybe he had another card before. He's not sure. He can't be sure. He just knows, like he knows every bit of himself he put into Guilmon, that this needs to be done, that this is something he can _do._

And his digimon, his partner, roars.

It hurts. It hurts to watch the digimon try to trample everything he owns, everything he loves. But then, that's why this has to be him, doesn't it? That's why this is him! He knows what to do. There is something he can do here!

"Do it! WarGrowlmon!"

And his partner does.

But as he does, he hears his mother scream.


	28. 28

28.

His parents are screaming somewhere, writhing in pain somewhere, and it makes him pause, stop. For a moment he imagines his hands drenched in red. Their red.

B-but there's no blood so he can't help but wonder.

But the monster groans in its own voice this time and he has to stop it anyway, but he doesn't want to because what if they're in there what if they die-

"Gogglehead focus!"

Thank gods for Ruki because his head immediately stops spinning and he can make the orders. Jen is right beside him a second after, wincing in pain but smiling like it doesn't actually hurt and the three of them

push

back

together.

The boar groans and cries. Takato feels it, in his gut.

Daigo pushes him forward anyway.

And when it's all over, Guilmon wraps around him in a hug too big for his heart to bear. But of course, Takato hugs him back and cries until he has no more tears.


	29. 29

29.

Two thuds reach their ears, reach his ears, and Takato's vision swims at the sound and the sensation. Someone groans. He breathes hard into Guilmon, and everything hurts.

"Takato!" Jenrya calls. "The phone! Call the hospital! They're breathing!"

And Takato is breathing with them.

"Okay," he stutters out. "Uh-hokay."

* * *

There's not so much peace as there is a pause, a quiet. They sit in the hospital, surrounded by the sound and the smell.

At some point, parents arrive, concerned people. Hirokazu and Kenta. Kato-san and Leomon are still nowhere to be found. But Culumon comes eventually. And there are others. Reporters. Concerned citizens. Angry people.

Ruki shouts, Jenrya glares.

Takato does nothing for a long while. Then he reaches out, grips both their hands. He tugs them down.

Both, to their own surprise, sit. And their partners stand in front of them together.

Daigo doesn't feel lonely. He almost feels safe.

He definitely has worry, but that won't go until Kato-san is here again. When Maki is right in front of him.


	30. 30

30.

Takato listens when the police tell him to go home. This time.

It's quiet, it's lonely. Guilmon is with him only because there's nothing the police can do with him, and nothing that weird blonde guy with the lighter can do either.

Not that Takato has ever really talked to him, but he's probably mean. Anyone who doesn't ask before trying to destroy the lives of kids on purpose is at the least a horrible person to deal with, at worst unforgivable.

Still, he can't help but wonder who is footing this bill, these examinations. Or if it matters. He and Guilmon sleep against chairs because there's no space on the clean white beds.

And then one time he opens his eyes, and his mother is looking at him. Knowing. Sad. Old.

"Takato," she whispers in a rasp. Her hands twitches, like it will move over the bandages still over his head. "We..."

Takato swallows. "Okaa-san…?"

And Daigo wonders what his old parents would think now.


	31. 31

31.

Kato Juri is back at last.

Back and bleeding. Wheezing. She sleeps on the waiting room chairs, refuses to go to a bed, those are for really injured people. And he can't convince her otherwise.

Leomon is outside, tending to the Digimon, tending to himself. All is quiet. Well, as quiet as a hospital is.

"Go home gogglehead."

Takato refuses. His parents and family are here.

Jen and Ruki look at each other and then they each take an arm and drag.

The next thing he knows, Takato is laying on his back on the floor of Ruki's sitting room, staring at a ceiling fan.

"Is this an intervention?"

Jen and Ruki look at each other again. "Yes," they say.

That's when Guilmon bowls him back over and licks his face and babbles on about seemingly random, unnecessary things. And Takato makes his shoulders fall, and pretends he's all right.

He's not but everyone knows that anyway.


	32. 32

32.

It's five days later that everyone meets at the park. Everyone, even injured Kato-san, carried by her partner. She has a hard gleam in her eye and a fresh bruise shaped like a handprint on her cheek.

Daigo knows that face and he doesn't want to. That is Hime-chan's reckless heart at work.

"Those things took Culumon," she says. "I tried to follow them but… he sent me back."

"He who?" Jenrya and Ruki are both skeptics and thank god because Takato is vibrating with pain. "And where?"

"The Digimon world," Kato-san replies, almost absently. "And honestly I don't know who it is, he had brown hair and blue eyes and a digimon."

Ruki's eyes go wide. Then they narrow. Her fingers curl into fists.

"We're going too," Takato says because Daigo loses control of his brain. "We'll save Culumon from those guys."

Preferably before Lighter Man gets trigger happy.


	33. 33

33.

Finding a way in is harder than it looks.

Not that, admittedly, Takato looks very hard on his own. He doesn't know what to look for. But Guilmon does. So after a lot of instructions he trusts his Digimon to hold his own.

Meanwhile, he gathers supplies, visits his parents, makes up ways to boost morale, does everything other than think about the pile of dread in his gut that isn't digesting. He makes a face of pain. He burns his finger tips on bread and steel pans. He collapses in bed and doesn't remember his dreams.

And Daigo thinks about Hime-chan – Kato-san's – face. And doesn't cry.

Something is going to go wrong.


	34. 34

34.

"You're going then."

His mother doesn't stutter or flinch or hold back. His father is sleeping, he's always sleeping. Her fingers are twined with his. He's still tired.

Takato nods.

"You don't know what's out there, do you?"

"… Not really."

"You could die, Takato."

And it's such a stark thing to say but it's true, isn't it? He could die but if he doesn't go, he's almost sure everyone will die and he doesn't want to keep safe that much.

He says so and his mother sighs.

"You're just like your father Takato." she squeezes both of his hands with her free one. "So, let me tell you what I know."

His eyes water. He loves his parents so much.


	35. 35

35.

This is not his Digital World.

Even under the Dark Masters, places had flora and life, experience and hope.

This, this, this is not right. This is broken, a mess, heartless.

"I know," Kato-san says softly. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"It's terrible," he chokes out. Ruki scoffs, but it's covering the way he too, looks around for a monster to fall out of the sky. But that might just be because their luck is bad.

They first look for shelter in the dust and crags. They need to stay together, Jen insists and they're all fine with it, especially since they have extra humans, or live bait and Terriermon kindly says to their face.

Terriermon being right surely is a sign of the apocalypse. But he follows it anyway.


	36. 36

36.

The first rule is don't get separated. Naturally they break it within what might be three days. In their defense no one was prepared for a bike with a mind of its own along with the data streams, but it's still a problem.

Takato however, feels in his element. This isn't the forest, not his Digital World, but it's still a Digital World and he'd survived one. He can survive another one.

So he takes command, with Kato-san's information. Ruki and the others will be fine, she has a tough spirit and one of the best decks he's ever seen. So they keep walking, searching for paths to Culumon. It's hard work and they'll run out of supplies if they take too long, but it's all they've got.

At least until the Demon Man shows up. That is a problem.


	37. 37

37.

In his first life, Daigo was no stranger to gunshots. His life, admittedly, been a little extreme. Though he'd also had a gun-hammer wielding puppet on his first trip and survived so well, he had a few battle scars to show for it and a lot of plans.

Those plans are the only thing that get him to shout in time, MegaloGrowmon's tail whipping and diverting the bullets. A Demon Lord's bullets. Holy crap what digimon did he really make? What had he been thinking with cannons and fire and blade arms?

… Ok he'd been thinking his partner was the coolest thing _ever_ , but still.

His partner is managing to hold off the demon bike, which is good. He's not managing to hold off the _Demon Lord_ at the same time. That honor goes to Kato-san and Leomon.

Dread pools up in Daigo's gut and somehow, he knows. He just knows. And he can't help it.

They rage at the possibility.


	38. 38

38.

The rage is red. A pretty, pretty red. Screaming loud, roaring even though he can't feel his mouth moving, his throat throbbing. He can feel the rage strong in his arms and legs. And Takato is proud of it, glad to have it glad to feel it. He doesn't say words, but he makes sounds he's sure, desperate sounds that his partner understands. Guilmon, MegaloGrowmon is an extension of him a part of him. Partner and part, partner and extended piece.

If only it had been this way before, with Bearmon. If only this was what had happened back then. Bakumon would have lived, things would have been better! If only they'd been like this then, then-

And then Kato-san is screaming. Screaming, screaming, screaming as-

Hands the size of baseball mitts, a sword as long as takato's torso in one holding Demon and Demon apart.

"Enough," thunders the adult and he's so small really, so small.

No, Takato thinks. It is not enough. Not yet. Not now. Not until the end.

And MegaloGrowmon _warps_ beneath his fingers, before his eyes, and the world clears with a snap.

And the lion dies.


	39. 39

39.

The common fact is that the lion dies in the Digital World. They're too noble, too proud, in some cases, too lazy, to handle the war that was to come.

Daigo's had avoided that fate, at least as far as he knew (unless the reboot was technically death, no one knows, no one would ever know that would tell him.)

She is sobbing a distance away. Broken angry noises that are more than when it was Bakumon but somehow worse. She – Kato-san, Hime-chan, they, she knows what happens this time.

When her hands close around her neck, he thinks that he deserves it. In fact, he knows.


	40. 40

40.

Unfortunately, Ruki and Jen pull her off, and it might be fortunate after all because there's still a giant phoenix to deal with. The sight of him does not fill Daigo with fear and dread, but hope and sorrow. Maybe Baihumon is here, maybe he lives. Maybe-

Maybe he'd be a better partner to him than to Guilmon, who refuses to move, who refuses to wake, collapsed on the ground like a broken puppet.

And yet, he thinks, and yet, he just wants Guilmon. He only really wants this partner right now. He's already taken away Kato-san's and there's no blood on his hands but he knows it's there anyway. And he deserves so much worse, so much more important, than this.

And yet they are demanding he live.

As if he should.


	41. 41

41.

There's another enemy. Bigger, stronger, more frightened. The last part is an afterthought from Zhuqiaomon, but that's so familiar Daigo barely addresses it. There's still blood on Guilmon's claws no matter how white and clean they are. Honestly the most relevant thing is that it's dangerous. And Kato-san is now in danger.

She's staring at her hands too, like she regrets something, even though the only regret she should have is being pulled away before the end.

But still, he's alive again. He should make use of it.

So through Ruki and Jen's eyes on his spine, Takato listens.

And learns of the sad program doing its job.

And he understands.

This is a monster that cannot be killed, like a feeling that is unable to be destroyed.

So he must be written over like an old save file.

Is that how feelings work?


	42. 42

42.

Kato-san disappears and reappears.

Something is wrong with her eyes.

Something is wrong with her.

It's not the same as Hime, who only had grown more wild, more willful. This is empty, like a deflated balloon. He hadn't seen Hime-chan's last moments, but somehow, they were probably more alive than these moments right in front of his face.

She smiles at him. It doesn't feel like a smile at all.

Still, Takato makes himself smile back, and take her clammy hand as they shoot towards home.

And yet, when they do finally make it home, Impmon and Ruki in tow (and that is a story and a half), she's nowhere to be found.


	43. 43

43.

Daigo dreams.

Not Takato. Takato sleeps in his bed for the first time in what could be weeks but might be months, comforted by the presence of his parents puttering around and packing up the bakery properly. They are preparing for the inevitable, for the monster he had warned them about. But in the aftermath of the Digital World, they had demanded he and Guilmon rest.

So Takato rests. And Daigo dreams.

Dreams of Hime-chan, standing alone in the grey and black sand of the beach they had been warned to fear.

"You made it less lonely," she says. She's eleven, like he is now. Like they were before, like they are now. "You made everything less lonely. But it wasn't enough to not be alone. It wasn't enough to have someone understand or care."

"I know that now," Daigo says and something controls the pain in his voice, the guilt, the petulance.

"Do you?" she asks."Is that why you killed Leomon for me? So I don't have to fail myself?"

"You didn't fail!"

"A success would have kept Bakumon alive, whether he was needed or not."

Kato-san looks at him with those cold, sad eyes. "But he wasn't needed. He's not the hero. I'm not the hero. I've never been. And you've made sure of it."

"No!" he shouts. "That's not true!"

"Maybe to you it isn't. But I suppose," she turns away from him to a moon that is now red as Guilmon's scales. "My fate is to be someone else's stepping stone."

The world blurs until everything around them is red.

And Takato wakes up.


	44. 44

44.

"You ever consider going into selling prophecy stuff, gogglehead? I think you'd make a killing."

Takato laughs and it's easier now, Ruki is very good at judging you without judging you, and he prefers it that way. She forgives a lot of bull that you would think she wouldn't do and she says what she means.

He needs that a lot more than he's comfortable admitting at the moment.

"We'll help her Takato," Jen continues.

They believe him and his stupid dreams. They believe him and his weird stories.

He's not crazy. They believe him. They believe him.

Takato and Daigo want to cry. But they don't. They smile instead. "Then let's work together and do it!"

They'll cry when their friend is back. After they say the most important things.

And hear the least important as well.


	45. 45

45.

Guilmon trudges along. He's hungry of course and so is Takato. They can't steal food, not everyone's evacuated yet. They can't make anything, his parents are still home.

"You can mooch," Ruki offers, almost sympathetic. Not quite enough but it's something. "Though if Guilmon bites any furniture he's out."

"Furniture makes me sick," gurgles his partner, who sounds both hopeful at the idea of food and tired at the idea of walking more to get it. Takato pats his arm and gets a beaming, fang-toothed smile.

Sometimes, Daigo wonders if he even deserves the expression of the smile. But he swallows that thought and gets back to work.

He has a friend to save, if nothing else.


	46. 46

46.

Perhaps in an older body, one that had gotten to grow up and experience life better, Daigo wouldn't feel the way he does now, all cracked up and self-loathing. He'd have gotten around the bend or something and feel better and forgive himself for having emotions and suffering and all of that.

But the not Kato-san laughs at him, at the tears running down his face, at the weakness in his eyes.

And Takato thinks of Daigo, of himself, laying nearly dead under the earth, thinks of being cool for his student.

Why does Kato-san, why does Hime-chan hate him so much? When he… when he…

When he cares so much!

What is wrong with her?

And once again, for a moment, Takato forgets to be kind. He forgets to be understanding. He forgets to forgive.

And the world loses focus for a few minutes.

Until she's screaming again. And so is he. And Daigo feels

So

Happy

Again.


	47. 47

47.

"I'm okay."

"I've read the dictionary, your pictures next to "complete mess" in it."

"I'm fine, Ruki."

"Momentai, Takato, we just wanna help."

Takato crosses his arms so he can't see his hands. "Well, thanks Terriermon but I'm fine."

Renamon regards him, not in a patronizing way, but with this awful distaste, like he's done more wrong than he knows about. Well, good. Whatever. Add it to the stinking pile. "If you're all right, call off Guilmon."

Takato glances at Guilmon, who is just standing there, claws raised, waiting. he's not moving otherwise except to breathe.

Something in Takato squirms. "Stop Guilmon."

Guilmon looks at him. And then he stops, relaxes, But he's still still, and the golden eyes won't leave his face.

"Guilmon?" Takato repeats and his voice betrays him.

Guilmon nods, still staring.

Bile churns in his throat. He looks away, eyes stinging.

"Maybe I'm not okay," Takato admits. "But don't I have to be?"

Ruki rolls her eyes. "Do I look okay to you?"

"Same," Jen agrees.

Takato laughs weakly, but eventually all he can do is cry.


	48. 48

48.

There's a girl following them.

It's not Kato-san, but she has the same eyes, the same empty eyes like she drowned in the ocean a thousand times a thousand years ago and still hasn't learned how to swim.

She doesn't say much, but when she cries, it hurts in almost the exact same way. Death is still death no matter what way you slice it. And it always hurts no matter if you know it or not. Takato is absolutely sure of this.

Her dog follows silently, watching her back and then them in turn, like they will all benefit from something.

And then at the end, they all benefit from his death.

Like always.


	49. 49

49.

The D-Reaper's world is quiet. Not silent, but quiet.

With no creatures around at the moment. The only living things are the plants, and without wind and sun and water, they're all starting to droop and turn yellow.

Jen swallows. Ruki makes a face.

Not even Terriermon can make them smile.

There's a figure in the distance. They don't move, they don't breathe.

Takato makes himself ignore them. Because that isn't Kato-san. He won't be baited a second time.

But he wants it to be. He desperately wishes he could just take Kato-san's hand and walk her home and all of this would be over.

But it won't be. He has to fight the dragon and save the princess. And once again, they're the same person.


	50. 50

50.

Takato dreams.

They all dream, but Takato has found he has been dreaming more vividly than ever. His mother would say it was trauma, but his parents have fled the city now and cannot say it to his face.

After all, the bakery can be rebuilt. None of them can.

Including him but he thinks with the youth of immortality that him dying here is the epitome of impossible.

He dreams of Kato-san again, this time not on a gray ocean, but sitting in a clear bubble, staring at the blood red sky. He dreams of a winged monster trying to tear into it, screaming and screaming.

Kato-san looks at the monster and opens her hand. But then, her eyes meet Takato's and she drops her hand, letting out a single, heartfelt sob.

Takato vomits out his guilt into a bush five minutes later.


	51. 51

51.

When Takato's awake later, it's to miso soup and bread. Jen shrugs at him, laying back on two desks and a gym mat.

He can only imagine he looks much better.

Ruki looks worse than either of them combined. "I'm taking a shower," she tells them, as if they should care.

"Save us some hot water," Jen begs and Takato frowns because oh right that's why.

Ruki snorts. "If there's any to start with."

She's gone and the digimon are crashing through gym supplies and if the school wasn't empty as the rest of the town, he could almost imagine that this was a big prank for the teachers to clean up, not a fight for the world to live, for people to live on the world.

So he lets himself forget for a while.

It's nice.


	52. 52

52.

The nice feeling ends, but then, it isn't supposed to last.

They go out again, and find Ryo cutting through hordes of minions and punching what his sword misses. It's so well practiced that it tickles Daigo's brain, but before he can really remember, he's also in the fray, thrusting his lance forward and sparking electricity from his shield arm.

Guilmon cries out in some sort of emotion, some sort of rallying cry. Takato wants to cheer with him, wants to feel the same jubilation that he feels. But all he feels is a worn out sense in his bones and a certainty that he just has to hurry.

But hurry where, he's not exactly sure. And hurry why, he only has a guess.

What if the D-Reaper gets tired or bored? Can it? Can they get bored of things in this world? Can they get bored of their work?

He can only hope that the D-Reaper isn't anything like his teacher.


	53. 53

53.

Kato-san meets them for real at the towers that had once been Hypnos. She stands there in a winter coat, thick leggings, a scarf. It's September. It's too soon. But she still looks cold and clammy.

"Juri," Ruki says in the silence. She sounds not pleading, but hopeful.

Kato-san looks sat her, almost boldly. "I'm sorry," she tells her. "But I'm not sorry enough to stop."

"Earth doesn't deserve to pay for Leomon," Jen says, stern and firm.

Kato-san laughs sadly and says. "This isn't about Leomon anymore."

She walks away.

"Hime," Takato says before he can stop himself.

Kato-san stops mid-step, and looks at him. "No," she says simply. "He has to pay."

And then she vanishes. Literally.

"He?" Takato echoes, and Daigo's stomach churns.

And he knows.


	54. 54

54.

"Ryo-san's in danger."

Takato feels the urge to explain, to tell them everything, everything he knows, everything he is but years of not bothering to and it not being important slam into his back and he forgets to inhale properly for a second. He wheezes for breath and meets Ruki's serene purple eyes.

"Don't blow a gasket," she orders him like she had not lost a gasket against IceDevimon what felt like centuries ago.

Takato still smiles at her anyway. And he starts slowly, fits and bursts, feeling the memories of Daigo, of nothing but blood and fire and a singular overwhelming pain for eternity beginning to pull themselves from the deepest, darkest water.

And they listen, his friends, and Takato suddenly wishes, with all his heart, that they and Ryo-san are his friends come again, because gods Daigo misses them so much. But they aren't here and no matter how hard he wishes, they won't be.


	55. 55

55.

The problem about trying to save Ryo is trying to find Ryo. For a guy who Ruki calls a ray of sunshine, he's a worse loner than her. They had never gotten his address, nor his phone number, not anything. He seemed, in fact, looking back, to do it on purpose.

They would have to discuss it later.

For now…

"There!" Jen shouts.

And they charge.

And they lose, only for a small, battered ship to pull them away.

As Grani yanks them from the blur of red, they all hear Kato-san screaming, screaming loud and long.

"I just want to be happy!" she cries in their heads. "I want something to not be taken from me."

And it's Ryo, bruised and battered, who answers. "Then hold on to it better."

The rage rocks Grani, but it's Takato who is wiping her eyes from tears.

If only it was that simple. But then, maybe they're at the age where it can be.


	56. 56

56.

The adults offer the children a red card. "What will happen?" Jen asks, bless him because the fire is in Takato's blood and bones and he can't wait he just can't wait. He just wants to reach Kato-san and tell her… well, he'll figure it out when you get there.

He watches Jen's father hesitate and then, because he knows in his bones what's going to be asked of them, Takato spares the father and says, "Our Digimon have to leave after this, don't they?"

The room lets out a collective breath.

Then Ryo says, "Oh thank god." Cyberdramon chuffs at him and gets a rap on the armor. "I haven't been able to stay at my house because of you. Go home and kill things without me."

Takato almost laughs. No one else does. There's a heaviness, a question. It's easier to choose to do the right thing if you don't know the consequences of doing it, and that ultimately, was what had hurt Hime-chan so much. She hadn't even had the happiness, the idea of a choice, the truth of being a hero, anything to carry with her to pretend it was more than "oh your digimon's dead. Your first love, your best friend is dead."

And so he doesn't regret putting the truth out there.

Not this time.


	57. 57

57.

The D-Reaper comes to them, the last time, a great hulking monstrosity. It's not as bad as the monsters they'd fought the first time, but it's close. Its eyes are nothing compared to the endless amounts of tentacles and honestly, Takato would rather have the eyes. But still, he moves forward, desperately, because the world is not soft and kind but he wants to be, he wants to be this time if no other time. But first that means being sharp and cruel.

And the ark reaches out with its life. Its soul, its heart. It reaches

But its wings are not enough.

Instead he can only watch as a black feathered creature rises up and reaches and reaches.

Please, Takato begs to the sky as the monster lurches back and forth and twists its body and something rises from its depths. Please give me wings. Please.

It doesn't. The sky gives him Himekawa Maki instead, clear as the last day he saw her at work, and looking down at him

She smiles at him, that fond knowing smile, and raises her arms as if to embrace him.

He doesn't.

The smile twists.

And then Jen is shouting for him, screaming for him to look up.

And before he can, Himekawa Maki melts, laughing, laughing and crying and Takato has to run, run run.

Until Grani falls.

And Grani falls hard.


	58. 58

58.

Flying is different, Takato realizes, once he can.

With Grani's death, it's almost not worth it but he needs to fly, needs to get away from the melting cooling corpse of Himekawa Maki because if he doesn't he'll think about them both dying alone twice and that's morbid. He's ten, he's so tired of being morbid. He wants to be happy too, after all.

And happiness is something you create, sometimes by yourself, sometimes with many. And this time, it's not just him and the scared stiff teenager being forced to make hard choices. Now it is really a choice and it's the one you have to live with.

And he can only hope this time that Kato-san makes the right choice.

He can help her. He will. They all will.


	59. 59

59.

The D-Reaper screams and cries and wails and for a moment, a quickly squashable moment, Takato feels bad. Not enough to stop, but it's the pity of knowing that this comes from doing what you're told and not really knowing why and hurting because you don't know.

It really is just a program, doing its job. Weren't all of those systems just that, and with humans and digimon paying the price. And that's pitiful but it's not enough to stop him because that thing is still hurting people and there's no reason, it doesn't understand there's no reason at all.

And even now, Daigo is naive enough to think that there needs to be a reason at all. Damn it all.


	60. 60

60.

They win.

They shouldn't win, they're seven kids and some monsters against the laws of casualty or something. Evolution. But they're together. They're something. So they do. They do their best and they defeat the enemy.

But they don't save Kato-san.

Culumon and Beelzebumon do that. They reach out to her and hug her and tell her how terrible it is but it's not going to be any less terrible if she sits here and kills all of the not-horrible things in the world.

And it breaks Takato's heart to hear Kato-san say so simply, "Then why is it okay if they do it?"

And Culumon, in his high-pitched, normally happy voice, says, "But it's not. It is bad. But right now, I think it's just the less bad thing."

And Kato-san weeps with her static-filled digivice dangling in her grip.


	61. 61

61.

Of course, the battle is over. But that means consequences.

Kato-san is shuffled home and no one sees her for days. The digimon have to leave, they have to and it hurts, and he cries of course.

But heck, they're still alive, and that's a blessing he can count on both hands.

But she won't see him, and that feels awful and gross. Then again, it is still his fault. He had been just so angry.

And that's not an excuse. If she can't use it, then neither can he.

So life turns mundane. Not normal, but mundane.

At least, until the day Takato goes to Guilmon's favorite spot, drawn there by the childish laughter that had filled his ears for not even a year.

And he can't help himself. He goes inside.


	62. 62

62.

"Takato-kun wants to see you."

"I know."

Juri knows she should see him, knows she should talk to him, apologize, forgive, something.

But she can't. Not really. There's only herself stopping her and that's quite a lot of a thing to stop her from doing as she likes. As she wants.

She still remembers his voice set with rage, his red eyes burning. She still remembers Leomon's encouragement and love.

She's still wishing for it when it won't come back.

"Kato-san?"

"Please go away," she tells him because there's so much she wants to say. She wants so much. She wants him to stop-

"Hime-chan, please," he begs.

And her brain lurches again, and it lurches and roils and she hacks up spit because, because-

"Leave me alone, Daigo!" she begs, and the name doesn't come out easily, it's rather forced and jittery.

There's silence, and for a moment, she hopes.

"The last time I did that you died," he says miserably. "And so did I. So I'm not going to."

"Wasn't it fine if I did?"

"Of course not!"

And the fact that he means it makes her laugh into her palms.

"… Come in."


	63. 63

63.

He does.

She's laying on her blankets, a notebook on her stomach, textbooks with cracked spines scattered over the floor and bed. It hurts to look at. She'd always made such a sad face whenever he'd done that during class. It stung.

"Hime-chan." Takato swallows. "You remember."

"… Kind of." Kato-san stares up at the ceiling, as if afraid to look at him. "It's blurry, after the water. Most things are. Next thing I know, I'm here. I'm looking up at a mom and dad and everything is fine again."

"Until it isn't," Takato says, making himself sit on the floor.

"… Yeah." Juri nods, almost to herself. "Until it isn't."

They're quiet for a while.

"Why did you do it?"

"I… I was just angry." He stops. "I was angry and helpless and scared and I don't want to be that anymore I'm so tired of being that. I'm so tired of being small and I just… I couldn't stop."

"Oh." She closes her eyes. "I couldn't stop either. I loved them, a lot. But love couldn't save them. It couldn't save anyone. It couldn't save me."

"Yeah." He sighs and rubs his eyes. "I kind of… figured that out now."

"It only took you two lifetimes."

"Hey!"

She smiles. It's so faint, it shouldn't be there. But it is.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

This time, the silence is nice.


	64. 64

64.

"I saw something at Guilmon's old place," he says, and holds out his digivice. Slowly, she rolls over to look at it, and by extension, him. She doesn't look away as he holds it, palm up, in his hand. Something slopes up, an oval shape rising from the depths of the screen and dwarfing the device.

Juri's eyes go widen. "Is that… is that an egg?"

Takato nods. "I thought I was reaching for Guilmon, but I grabbed this instead and somehow it got through. It… closed right after though."

"I see..."

Takato swallows, face starting to burn pink. "Would… could you look after it?"

She sits up. "Eh?"

He nods. "I… I know it's not fair to you after everything… but I don't think anyone else could do it. And… it could be fun. Different. Peaceful."

She hesitates. "I… it wouldn't be the same."

"I don't think any love is the same as our first one," Takato admits. "I… I don't even know what's going to happen to us now. But… that doesn't have to be bad, does it? Isn't that part of growing up?"

Her expression twists, sours, aches. "But what if I'm not ready to grow up? What if I'm never ready?"

"You have us," Takato says simply. "And I don't think we are either. You don't have to do this alone. I really think you don't have to do this alone. I don't… I don't think I can do it by myself either. Not again. Please, Kato-san."

Please, he thinks. Let this end.


	65. 65

65.

She cries, so does he. They're a perfect match, really. But in the end, she raises her D-Arc and takes the egg, wiping her eyes with her arm.

"You know," she says to him. "If you're going to talk to me like that, it'd be nice if you used my first name, Takato-kun."

He sputters, face red, dropping his digivice from his hand. She laughs and it's a real laugh, and he's missed it so so much.

Finally, finally, they succeeded. This time, she lived. And so did he.

There are more portals, small, weak some. Others bigger, others more stable. They can't leave well enough alone of course. So they help, they bond, and they adventure, because in the end, adventure still lives on in their hearts.

And they are free to make of it what they will.


End file.
